The Girly Girls Guide to Life in Peace Corps Mozambique

The Girly Girl's Guide to Life in Peace Corps Mozambique

So, there's a new group of Health trainees coming in June. Health tends to be a very girl heavy sector of Peace Corps, and judging from the Facebook stalking I have been doing, there are definitely some girly-girls in the bunch. So, I've decided to share some of the knowledge I've gained, and have developed this short “Girly Girl's Guide to Life in Peace Corps Mozambique”. I hope it helps :)

1. Nail Polish is so important. Bring some. Why is it important? Well, the kind you get here sucks. It gives you something to do when you're bored. And girly girls like to be pretty. It will make you happier. And it's also a good conversation starter. I'm partial to very bright colors that always catch people's attention. Great way to get people talking to you, and therefore excellent for your integration! Also, bring a lot, because you'll be constantly changing the polish on your toes. It gets gross and chipped really quickly, especially if you're at the beach a lot.

2. Make-up is also equally important. That is, if you wore it in the States. I'm an eyeshadow kind of girl, and although I hardly wear it on a day to day basis, there are opportunities (like important functions, nightclub outings, etc) where you want to look like you made an effort. Plus, when you're bored, it also serves as a distraction. And when you're feeling down, it always helps to look pretty (Remember, when you feel your worst, look your best!) Also dont forget lip gloss! Drylip is not cute.

3. BRING YOUR FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCTS! And before you go, find a connect in the States who will send you replacements as you need them. No matter what color you are, or what texture your hair, you will NOT be able to find your favorite hair products. Emergency backup shampoo and conditioner, yes. Maybe even some Pantene. But the Carol's Daughter, L'oreal, Tresseme, Kinky Curly, crème of Nature, Paul Mitchell, etc etc? Not happening. The same also goes for styling tools. You will not find a quality flat iron or blowdryer. Please pack accordingly. (if there is a girl out there who relaxes her hair, you can find Dark and Lovely relaxer. Personally, I dont do that...but it is available. I would just recommend doing it yourself. I have yet to see a good relaxer job on anyone, except for in Maputo and Nampula)

4. Onto the subject of clothes: Before I came to Moz, someone told me that Mozambique is where clothes come to die. They were right. The harsh conditions (handwashing, drying in the hot sun) can definitely take a toll. HOWEVER, you dont just want to bring your “crocodile dundee” hiking clothes either. You will want to express yourself, wear clothes you like, and feel comfortable. Anything you'd be pissed about destroying, dont bring (like, dont bring the Chanel and the DVF). But, I'd say bring your favorites too. Think about it: you're here for two years. Most girls gain weight (although some lose weight. Luckily I'm on the losing side, although barely) and when you get back, will those clothes really fit or be in style? Might as well wear them here where you'll be the most fashionable one in your town. I say find a balance of cute clothes and other clothes. Just know that they will get messed up eventually, so dont put too much effort into it. But also know, that if you're like me, you WILL go out when you have the opportunity to do so. And Mozambican women put effort into their appearance (even if some of them miss the mark). So you want to at least look like you tried.

5. Shoes: Chacos and Tevas are your friends. Because your shoes will take a beating. But, I recommend bringing at least one pair of cute shoes, like a pair of cute sandals. My cute sandals are versatile and just dressy enough to work at all functions. Plus, going out in Tevas is NOT cool.

6. Underwear: No one likes granny panties. But just know that your cute lacy undies won't stay cute and lacy for long.

7. Feet: Bring a pumice stone, or a Ped Egg, or some type of scrubber/scraper, because your feet (especially if you wear flip flops a lot) will get GROSS. QUICKLY and OFTEN. And Claudia (the Training Manager) is strictly against what she calls “Peace Corps Feet” and will probably give you a lecture on properly caring for your feet. Also, Mozambicans notice if your feet are jacked, and will call you out on it.

8. Soaps and Perfumes: While its not necessary to bring your favorite perfume, you might want to have it. Just because. Definitely bring your favorite soap though. The soap here is ok, but there arent many special scents, and it gets you clean, but you dont have that “soft” feeling after using a bar of Caress

9. Batteries: Because when they go out, you'll be pissed.

10. Scented Candles: When the power goes out, its nice to have a delightful scent fill the air. Plus, I just love candles.

11. Deodorant: I saw some Lady Mitchum (the brand I use) at Shoprite the other day. But for safety's sake, bring lots of your favorite kind. You've been forewarned.

12. Baby wipes: You can buy them here, although they're kinda expensive. I realized the value of Baby Wipes in the States. If you havent, then dont worry about it.

13. Baby powder: You can also buy it here. Under-boob sweat is NOT your friend. And chafing is real here, people.

14. Your computer! Dont be one of those PCVs who says “Oh, I want the PC experience. I dont want to bring my computer” You'll just annoy everyone else by always asking to use theirs.

15. Facewash: In training, my skin (and mostly EVERYONE ELSE's too) broke out, terribly. I looked like a pimply faced 16 yr old. So make sure you have a set skin care routine. It might not help initially, but it will help things to clear out once your body stops freaking out.

16. Bath gloves: These were the BEST thing I brought with me, really. Exfoliating is SO necessary, and you actually feel clean, something that is sometimes hard to achieve here when you're taking bucket baths (for a lot of you-outside)

17. Lotion: I dont like the lotion here. I like my Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion. SO I brought it, and I'm happy.

18. Razors/Refill Cartridges: They have disposable razors here, which work just fine I guess. Nothing can be as good as my BIC Soleil. Bring your favorite kind, because when you're trying to shave while taking a bucket bath, you need the least amount of complications possible.

19. Earplugs: People in Mozambique wake up early and go to bed late. I, on the other hand, value my sleep.

20. Chewing Gum: I like gum.

21. Its totally ok to bring an unlocked blackberry. You can get the service turned on for a monthly fee,and personally I love having it. Just know that it will take a beating. And it would be smart to get another, cheap phone here to walk around with. Because cities like Nampula are known for being shady...

For now, I think thats it. Luckily, Mozambique is a country where lots of things are available, and there are lots of opportunities for a girly girl to be...well...girly! If you've been chosen to serve in PC Moz, you have definitely hit the lottery! It is amazing here, and I wouldnt want it any other way :)

25 MORE Things I've learned in Peace Corps Mozambique

April 25, 2011

April 27^th marks my 7^th month in this country and my 5^th month at site. I have definitely learned a lot since then, and definitely more since my last “25 things I've learned” post. So here are 25 more things I've learned in Peace Corps Mozambique

1. The more times you face sudden death by riding in a chapa, the more numb to it you become.
2. The reason why roosters arent as obnoxious in the north of Mozambique is because people eat them.

3. Mozambican children can dance way better than you can.

4. Street food is ALWAYS worth the risk

5. There are way more holidays in Mozambique than there are in the States.

6. Considering the varying levels of deodorant usage in Mozambique, some people's armpit smell is actually tolerable. Some people...definitely not.

7. Never EVER try to attempt a physical feat that a Mozambican has been doing for years (like carrying 20L buckets of water on your head.)

8. Everything in Mozambique is like USPS Priority mail: “If it fits, it ships”

9. Children really enjoy running around naked.

10. The rainy season causes actual fault lines in dirt roads.

11. The sunset is way more beautiful in Africa.

12. The Indian Ocean in the best ocean to swim in.

13. Although it's a terrible business practice, all of the women sitting next to each other selling tomatoes (or sitting together selling other similar products) are perfectly happy doing so.

14. There's a fine line between development and changing a culture. Many people dont see that.

15. The Mozambique 20 years from now will look TOTALLY different than the Mozambique now.

16. Mozambicans as a whole are some of the nicest people on the planet.

17. Every person in the world loves free food. Just like college-people will show up if there's food.

18. Women love gossip. And so do men.

19. With the extreme lack of rules and regulations, and large amounts of general recklessness, you would think more people/kids would get hurt...the only difference is when they do get hurt, its just more traumatic and serious.

20. If any man enters your house for more than 5 minutes, you're sleeping with him.

21. When a PCV finds free internet, it's like gold.

22. “American” food in Mozambique is generally disappointing and confusing (the waffles are NEVER waffles. Sausage is pretty much just cut up hot dogs. Bacon is unrecognizable.)

23. You never know how creative you can get with food until your options are suddenly cut down about 75%

24. The concept of “personal space” is almost non existent here

25. People are just nosy. Thats just the way it is.

My Romantic Weekend Getaway

April 25, 2011

I have time to blog away, because today is some random holiday in my town. There are LOTS of holidays in Mozambique. I'm ok, with that, I went to the market, bought some stuff, and came back and took a nap. Unfortunately, the power was out, so the grilled cheese I have been looking forward to making was put off for a bit. But now its back! So excited.

I just got back from Maputo, which is always a delight. It's like a tiny slice of the western world. Although there was no massage and eyebrow thredding this time (THIS time...), I did have some EXCELLENT food and drink, saw some live shows, hung out at the French Cultural Center, did LOTS of shopping, and got a chance to see my host family. Oh yeah, and I had my reconnect conference. That was fun too. Ate way too much food. So much that I should be ashamed of myself. We also got the chance to attend the Peace Corps 50^th Anniversary party at the Ambassador's residence. It was quite a snazzy party. Feels good to dress up and schmooze for a little bit. (Just like old times!)

Anyway, after my much needed Maputo time, I decided to take a weekend trip to the lake with my good friend Chris. The night before we left, we tested out his new oven by making homemade pizza (which turned out HEAVENLY) and brownies (which we ended up tossing out...Peace Corps cookbook has some typos!) and he had some friends over from Doctors Without Borders (who brought much better brownies) and we ate. It was great. We left the next morning for Chuwanga, which is right outside of Methangula, home to the Mozambique side of Lake Malawi. I spent my entire day Saturday on the beach, which is always refreshing. As we were leaving on Sunday, the man who works at the restaurant was walking us back to catch a chapa, and he asks me “oh, is this your husband?” Of course people had been staring at Chris and I all weekend, since he's white and I'm not. Interracial dating isnt really an issue here (especially since the Portuguese came in and now there are mixed people all over this country...) but it's still a curious sight, at least in the more rural areas. Little do they know that Chris is definitely gay, so...there was none of that going on. But since homosexuality isnt a reality for many people in rural Mozambique (they just think it doesnt exist here...these people get the side eye from me), if we shared a room, we had to be..you know...fornicating. So I tell the guy “No, he's not my husband” to which he replies “Oh, your boyfriend?” Chris says no, and tries to explain to the guy that in American culture, things are a little different. Too bad he completely failed at explanation. Chris said, “No, in America its normal for friends to stay together in the same room. Its ok, we do it all of the time” to which the guy replied “Oh, so you're just 'brincar'ing. Ok”.

To “brincar” in Portuguese is to play. In Mozambican slang, it means to just...well..sleep together, with no strings attached.

Chris and I laughed. Then the guy says “But you could get married if you want to” Chris replies “Sure, I guess we could, if we wanted to”. Then the guy says “Yeah, that wouldnt be a problem. You could just go down to the Registo Civil and sign the papers. It'll be easy. It'll be a good thing” I laughed. Not only does this guy think I'm having sex with my gay friend Chris, but he also thinks I'm Mozambican, and has taken it upon himself to openly condone me marrying this white guy, as if it has anything to do with him. Either that, or he has taken it upon himself to convince me to get married if I'm going to “brincar” with this guy, still, as if it has anything to do with him. He concludes by saying, “Yeah, you guys'll get married. You should marry him!” We laughed it off and continued walking.

Part 2 (Days 2 & 3) of the The Epic Battle...also known as "The Ratatouille Rumble"...also known as "3 days of Torture"...

April 10, 2011

I went to work, rocking my curly fro-hawk. I tried to put on some makeup to hide the fact that I hadn't slept at all the night before. Didnt work. The nurse from my org asked me what was going on. I told her about the rat. She laughed. Apparently people find it funny that I'm afraid of a rat. Whatever. We left to go find the lady at the salon who could do my hair, and I spent the whole day, getting my hair done.

Late in the afternoon, as I'm sitting outside of the salon with this women braiding my hair, I see the nurse walking up with two white people. The girl doing my hair says "I wonder who theyre looking for" I grabbed my glasses and put them on, and I realize: These are two of my friends from Peace Corps! They were supposed to come visit me today! I had totally forgotten that I was supposed to have visitors. They come up and sit with me while this lady braids. We chat for a while, and it starts to get dark. Then...of course....the power goes out. The lady cant braid anymore, because by this time, it's dark and she cant see. So she tells me to come back at 6am the next morning so she can finish, and I can leave for me trip. Lucas, Janet (my guests) and I decide to grab some dinner at the restaurant in town. I was starving, and since I have an electric stove, cooking wasnt an option. Thankfully at the restaurant, they use carvao (coal)

When we get there, I tell them they are welcome to stay with me, but there's a rat in my house. They assure me that it's no problem, they arent afraid of rats. Maybe they could even help me catch it. Then the guy who's in love with me shows up, and I invite him to eat with us. After dinner, we all walk back to my house. My landlord's wife is outside, and so are the boys. I make the guy go in and check around for the rat. Nothing. He tells my landlord's wife that he thinks it left, maybe through a hole or something. I set up the mattress again for Luke and Janet, and after everyone took a bath, we all go to sleep.

Or at least...we tried...

I was the first person to wake up, mainly because I was a paranoid mess in my bed. I yelped when I felt the rat...doing something... under my bed. Luke and Janet called out to make sure I was ok, then they told me to just tuck my mosquito net, and I should be fine. That was just the beginning of a night of torture. The rat jumped all over them, was running around my room, and about every 20 minutes, one of us jumped up and screamed (mainly me), grabbed a flashlight and looked around. The rat had a field day (or night) and none of us slept.

We got up the next day, and I apologized to them for not having a good night's sleep. They kinda grumbled and I sent them on their way to the chapa stop. I told my landlord that the rat was STILL in my house, but I had to go finish my hair. When I came back, I told the boys, who were cooking lunch outside with some of their friends. Miguel, the oldest boy, told me that as soon as he finished the xima, he would come get the rat. I could hear him and his friends laughing outside "There's a rat in her house, and she's scared! So we have to get it out for her..."

I continued to pack my things, and Miguel showed up at my door, with a bamboo stick. He was like a soldier or something. He was methodical and determined, focused on getting this rat out of my house. He banged about, just like the other guy had, but with more determination and force. The other boy came in, and they split, one in the bedroom, one in the livingroom, leaving no stone unturned. They banged around for a while, not finding anything. I was certain the rat was still in the house. Miguel came out of my bedroom, and I thought he had given up. Instead, he asked for my chair and climbed up to check the rafters in the ceiling. By this time, both boys were in my bedroom, thinking ourloud to themselves "Where is this thing?"

I was organizing somethings in the livingroom, and all of a sudden, I hear the boys start to make a commotion. And here comes this little rat, running towards me with the most petrified expression on his little face, as if he was begging me to save him. I ran out of my front door. I could hear the boys banging around with their bamboo sticks, and then I see Miguel kick the rat out of the front door, its little body twitching and squirming about. He comes out after it, to finish it off, and bangs its little head with the bamboo stick again. He then looks at me, and says "Is that the only one, or do you think there's more?" I shake me head no, too shocked to speak and walk back into the house.

Afterwards, I hear my landlord's wife come home. She asks the boys if they got the rat out of my house. They said yeah, then start making fun of the way I ran out of the livingroom.

Then I hear the one boy, Feliciano, call out to Miguel "Hey, make sure you cook that rat well"

I grabbed my stuff and left for my trip, just happy the whole ordeal was over.

Day 1 of the The Epic Battle...also known as "The Ratatouille Rumble"...also known as "3 days of Torture"...

April 10, 2011


So, it all began last Thursday, when I was taking out my braids, preparing for my upcoming trip to Maputo for my In-Service Training Conference. It was Day of the Mozambican Woman, so I had the day off. I was watching an episode of "The Wire" on my computer in my livingroom. The front door was open, because it was hot. I had just finished eating the best macaroni salad I have ever made in my entire life. Next thing I know, the power goes out. Not a big deal, because that tends to happen all of the time in my town, so I got up, lit a few candles, and sat back down. Dont need light to unbraid your hair, the light from my computer screen was all I needed. The door stayed open, because without power, my fan wasnt on...and my house gets really stuffy.

Suddenly, I hear something rustling in the trash by the front door. I look, and I see something fall out and run into my bedroom.

A rat.

I immediately jumped up onto my chair. I had no clue what to do. I've never had a rat in my house, and since the power was out, this thing had an advantage. Utterly freaked out, I grabbed my phone and called my friend, who told me "I told you to get a cat!" Then I asked myself why I even called her in the first place, since she's a.) on the other side of the country and b.) NOT helpful at all. We ended the conversation with her saying "well, its a rat, its not going to bother you. Its just as scared as you are...."

So I sat there, trying to figure out what to do. I didnt have a cat, and since I was going to be gone for the next 2 weeks, I couldnt get one if I tried. I stared at the entrance to my bedroom. Nothing. I didnt hear anything, and after a while, I started to think that maybe it wasnt a rat. Maybe it was a lizard. I can deal with lizards. I can't deal with rats. I closed the door anyway, because whatever it was, I didnt want more to come in.

A little while later, the power came back. I heard the usual cheers off in the distance when the power comes back on in the town. By this time, I was done with the braids and ready to wash my hair. But in order to get to my bathroom, I had to go through my bedroom, where this thing that could possibly be a rat was. And if I was washing my hair in my bathroom, I had to leave the door open, because my bathroom is a small dar dungeon with no light. If I left the door open, the rat could run in, and I would have nowhere to go...

Yeah, basically I was too scared to go to my bathroom.

So I set up a hairwashing station, right there in my livingroom. I grabbed my hair products, some buckets and things, and some water and a cup. As I was washing, I look up, and in the doorway between my livingroom and my bedroom, there it was, looking at me. I screamed. And it ran under my bed.

I had just confirmed that there was a rat in my house. My heart was racing. By this time, it was 10:30 at night. I grabbed my phone and texted my landlord, in all caps "MINHA CASA TEM RATO!" (Pretty much: "There's a rat in my house!". I had forgotten that it was his birthday, AND his wife was in town and he hadnt seen her in a few months. He responded with something that pretty much translates to: "I'll have the boys find it tomorrow and kill it. Goodnight."

Goodnight? GOODNIGHT? What in the world....how could I have a good night with a RAT in my house? My house is so small, there's only a few places it could go. I didnt want that stupid rat crawling all over me and my things all night. The boys that live in my quintal were off doing whatever 17-year olds do at 10:30 at night, probably just as busy as my landlord. So here I was, all alone, with this rat. I had no choice but to call the guy who's in love with me.

Who's that you ask? There's a guy, and he's really nice, but I dont like him (like that) but he's in love with me. And would do anything for me. Including getting out of bed and walking over to my house to kill a rat. And thats what he did.

When the guy showed up, I didnt even leave my chair, I just told him to come in. He laughed. I'm sure I was a sight to see, by this time with the conditioner in, but sill an all around mess. I told him where he could find the rat, and I stayed in my livingroom. He grabbed my broom and unscrewed it so he just had the stick. I asked him "What are you going to do?" He said he was going to find it and kill it. I asked "With what?" He said "My shoe."

How in the HE--How is he going to kill a rat with his shoe, I wondered. Thats going to be a disgusting mess, and I'm gonna make him clean it up, with bleach, I thought. But it would all be worth it once he got that rat out of my house.

Anyway, he started poking and prodding around, under the bed, behind things. Problem is, since I was packing for my upcoming trip, I had suitcases and clothes all over. So he asked me to come in and help him pick up stuff, so the rat wouldnt have anywhere to hide. It took some convincing, but I eventually got up and we did some organizing. After all of that....he couldnt find the rat. He looked under the bed, under the armiore (how do you spell that?) all around....no rat. I knew I wasnt crazy, but still....where was this rat? He tried to convince me that it must've left somehow. By this time it was like 11:30pm. He asked if it was ok if he left, and I said yeah. He said if it shows up again, call him, he'd come back.

About 10 minutes after he sent me a text saying he had gotten home, the rat showed up. By this time, I had rinsed out the conditioner and had started rebraiding my hair. Immediately, I called him, and he laughed again and said he'd come back over. While I was waiting for him to show up, the rat decided to run out of my bedroom and under my cabinet in the livingroom. I screamed, again. And jumped on the chair....again. As I'm shaking and hyperventilating, it creeps out. I scream. It runs back under the cabinet. It creeps out again. I scream again. It runs back under the cabinet again. I figure this is a good way to make sure that it stays in the same place, so he can easily access it and kill it. This goes on for a while, until this rat decides to get bold, runs TOWARDS me, under my chair, towards the door (which I had closed) and then BACK into my bedroom, leaving me hysterical, screaming, and heaving on my chair. I call the guy, who hadnt shown up yet, pretty much screaming into the phone "WHERE ARE YOU? THIS RAT IS STILL HERE!!" It's amazing how perfect my Portuguese is when I'm stressed or scared. He assures me that he's almost at my house. Imagine me, with halfbraided wet hair, hugging my knees, shaking in a chair, on the verge of tears...thats how I looked when he finally showed up.

This time, he actually saw the rat.

He started pulling my mattress from the frame, hitting the floor with the broomstick, and running around like a crazy man. I just sat there, shocked and silent, looking on. The rat ran out of my bedroom, around my livingroom again, and back to the bedroom, with this guy chasing behind. I hear someone outside. I opened the door and saw my landlord's wife. I told her what was going on, and since she saw that the guy was in my house banging around, she figured everything was under control, and she went to bed. He continued to chase that rat around for about another half hour, until...

The power went out again.

My house was pitch black. It was about 12am. And this stupid rat has us beat. I lit candles again, and he tried to look for the rat some more, but it was no use. This rat had won. The guy asked what I wanted him to do. Well, there was no way that I could be in that house alone, with a rat AND no light. So he offered to stand guard. We sat there, and waited. The power never came back on, and the rat would appear and dissappear as he pleased. I had some peanuts (it was all I had), so we set it out to try to lure the rat. Didnt work. At about 2am, the guy could tell I was sleepy, so he said I could sleep while he waited for the rat. Even though I knew it wasnt going to happen, I tried to sleep anyway. I pulled out my extra mattress for him, put it on the livingroom floor, and made sure he knew that just because I was pulling out a mattress for him, he couldnt go to sleep. He had to watch for the rat. I climbed into my bed, tucked my mosquito net, and tried to sleep. I woke up repeatedly...hearing the rat, or feeling it under (or ON?) my bed...but everytime I woke up, he was up, watching for the rat. I hardly slept that night. Neither did he.

At 7am, the rat was still in the house, the power was still out, and the guy was still up. I told him he could leave, especially since we both had to work. I opened my door and my landlord's wife was outside, sitting with her friends (WHO has guests over at 7am??? ONLY in Mozambique). They see this guy coming out of my house. I try to explain to them that the rat is in my house, and he was trying to get it out, and I refused to sleep alone in a house with a rat...they just shrugged it off and watched him leave.

Awesome, now they think I'm banging this guy....

I got dressed and went to work.