April 10, 2011
So, it all began last Thursday, when I was taking out my braids, preparing for my upcoming trip to Maputo for my In-Service Training Conference. It was Day of the Mozambican Woman, so I had the day off. I was watching an episode of "The Wire" on my computer in my livingroom. The front door was open, because it was hot. I had just finished eating the best macaroni salad I have ever made in my entire life. Next thing I know, the power goes out. Not a big deal, because that tends to happen all of the time in my town, so I got up, lit a few candles, and sat back down. Dont need light to unbraid your hair, the light from my computer screen was all I needed. The door stayed open, because without power, my fan wasnt on...and my house gets really stuffy.
Suddenly, I hear something rustling in the trash by the front door. I look, and I see something fall out and run into my bedroom.
A rat.
I immediately jumped up onto my chair. I had no clue what to do. I've never had a rat in my house, and since the power was out, this thing had an advantage. Utterly freaked out, I grabbed my phone and called my friend, who told me "I told you to get a cat!" Then I asked myself why I even called her in the first place, since she's a.) on the other side of the country and b.) NOT helpful at all. We ended the conversation with her saying "well, its a rat, its not going to bother you. Its just as scared as you are...."
So I sat there, trying to figure out what to do. I didnt have a cat, and since I was going to be gone for the next 2 weeks, I couldnt get one if I tried. I stared at the entrance to my bedroom. Nothing. I didnt hear anything, and after a while, I started to think that maybe it wasnt a rat. Maybe it was a lizard. I can deal with lizards. I can't deal with rats. I closed the door anyway, because whatever it was, I didnt want more to come in.
A little while later, the power came back. I heard the usual cheers off in the distance when the power comes back on in the town. By this time, I was done with the braids and ready to wash my hair. But in order to get to my bathroom, I had to go through my bedroom, where this thing that could possibly be a rat was. And if I was washing my hair in my bathroom, I had to leave the door open, because my bathroom is a small dar dungeon with no light. If I left the door open, the rat could run in, and I would have nowhere to go...
Yeah, basically I was too scared to go to my bathroom.
So I set up a hairwashing station, right there in my livingroom. I grabbed my hair products, some buckets and things, and some water and a cup. As I was washing, I look up, and in the doorway between my livingroom and my bedroom, there it was, looking at me. I screamed. And it ran under my bed.
I had just confirmed that there was a rat in my house. My heart was racing. By this time, it was 10:30 at night. I grabbed my phone and texted my landlord, in all caps "MINHA CASA TEM RATO!" (Pretty much: "There's a rat in my house!". I had forgotten that it was his birthday, AND his wife was in town and he hadnt seen her in a few months. He responded with something that pretty much translates to: "I'll have the boys find it tomorrow and kill it. Goodnight."
Goodnight? GOODNIGHT? What in the world....how could I have a good night with a RAT in my house? My house is so small, there's only a few places it could go. I didnt want that stupid rat crawling all over me and my things all night. The boys that live in my quintal were off doing whatever 17-year olds do at 10:30 at night, probably just as busy as my landlord. So here I was, all alone, with this rat. I had no choice but to call the guy who's in love with me.
Who's that you ask? There's a guy, and he's really nice, but I dont like him (like that) but he's in love with me. And would do anything for me. Including getting out of bed and walking over to my house to kill a rat. And thats what he did.
When the guy showed up, I didnt even leave my chair, I just told him to come in. He laughed. I'm sure I was a sight to see, by this time with the conditioner in, but sill an all around mess. I told him where he could find the rat, and I stayed in my livingroom. He grabbed my broom and unscrewed it so he just had the stick. I asked him "What are you going to do?" He said he was going to find it and kill it. I asked "With what?" He said "My shoe."
How in the HE--How is he going to kill a rat with his shoe, I wondered. Thats going to be a disgusting mess, and I'm gonna make him clean it up, with bleach, I thought. But it would all be worth it once he got that rat out of my house.
Anyway, he started poking and prodding around, under the bed, behind things. Problem is, since I was packing for my upcoming trip, I had suitcases and clothes all over. So he asked me to come in and help him pick up stuff, so the rat wouldnt have anywhere to hide. It took some convincing, but I eventually got up and we did some organizing. After all of that....he couldnt find the rat. He looked under the bed, under the armiore (how do you spell that?) all around....no rat. I knew I wasnt crazy, but still....where was this rat? He tried to convince me that it must've left somehow. By this time it was like 11:30pm. He asked if it was ok if he left, and I said yeah. He said if it shows up again, call him, he'd come back.
About 10 minutes after he sent me a text saying he had gotten home, the rat showed up. By this time, I had rinsed out the conditioner and had started rebraiding my hair. Immediately, I called him, and he laughed again and said he'd come back over. While I was waiting for him to show up, the rat decided to run out of my bedroom and under my cabinet in the livingroom. I screamed, again. And jumped on the chair....again. As I'm shaking and hyperventilating, it creeps out. I scream. It runs back under the cabinet. It creeps out again. I scream again. It runs back under the cabinet again. I figure this is a good way to make sure that it stays in the same place, so he can easily access it and kill it. This goes on for a while, until this rat decides to get bold, runs TOWARDS me, under my chair, towards the door (which I had closed) and then BACK into my bedroom, leaving me hysterical, screaming, and heaving on my chair. I call the guy, who hadnt shown up yet, pretty much screaming into the phone "WHERE ARE YOU? THIS RAT IS STILL HERE!!" It's amazing how perfect my Portuguese is when I'm stressed or scared. He assures me that he's almost at my house. Imagine me, with halfbraided wet hair, hugging my knees, shaking in a chair, on the verge of tears...thats how I looked when he finally showed up.
This time, he actually saw the rat.
He started pulling my mattress from the frame, hitting the floor with the broomstick, and running around like a crazy man. I just sat there, shocked and silent, looking on. The rat ran out of my bedroom, around my livingroom again, and back to the bedroom, with this guy chasing behind. I hear someone outside. I opened the door and saw my landlord's wife. I told her what was going on, and since she saw that the guy was in my house banging around, she figured everything was under control, and she went to bed. He continued to chase that rat around for about another half hour, until...
The power went out again.
My house was pitch black. It was about 12am. And this stupid rat has us beat. I lit candles again, and he tried to look for the rat some more, but it was no use. This rat had won. The guy asked what I wanted him to do. Well, there was no way that I could be in that house alone, with a rat AND no light. So he offered to stand guard. We sat there, and waited. The power never came back on, and the rat would appear and dissappear as he pleased. I had some peanuts (it was all I had), so we set it out to try to lure the rat. Didnt work. At about 2am, the guy could tell I was sleepy, so he said I could sleep while he waited for the rat. Even though I knew it wasnt going to happen, I tried to sleep anyway. I pulled out my extra mattress for him, put it on the livingroom floor, and made sure he knew that just because I was pulling out a mattress for him, he couldnt go to sleep. He had to watch for the rat. I climbed into my bed, tucked my mosquito net, and tried to sleep. I woke up repeatedly...hearing the rat, or feeling it under (or ON?) my bed...but everytime I woke up, he was up, watching for the rat. I hardly slept that night. Neither did he.
At 7am, the rat was still in the house, the power was still out, and the guy was still up. I told him he could leave, especially since we both had to work. I opened my door and my landlord's wife was outside, sitting with her friends (WHO has guests over at 7am??? ONLY in Mozambique). They see this guy coming out of my house. I try to explain to them that the rat is in my house, and he was trying to get it out, and I refused to sleep alone in a house with a rat...they just shrugged it off and watched him leave.
Awesome, now they think I'm banging this guy....
I got dressed and went to work.
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