Yes, It's True. I'm an Idiot.

October 28, 2011

Today I did something stupid. And I'm pretty sure everyone will be talking about it tomorrow. And the next day. And probably for the next year that I'm here. My pride is hurt. I'm embarrassed. I want to pretend like the whole thing never happened. And most of all, I feel like a stupid idiot. Lesson learned: If your gut it telling you “You know, this might not be a good idea...” then is probably isnt a good idea. But I might as well write it here, because, well, I think these are the kinds of things that you laugh about years from now. I told the story to some friends after it happened, and they found it funny. Maybe you reading this will find humor in my stupidity as well.

Lets start from the beginning...

The boys that live in my quintal (in the other house in my yard) are awsome. They bring me all of my water, run to the market if I need them to, and they take out my trash. I dont know what they do with it, but all I have to do is put out the bag, and later it disappears, never to be heard of again. I'm not sure if they bury it, burn it, or put it down a never ending hole in the ground. Who knows? Who cares?

Well, today, I kinda cared. They werent at home, and the dog was in the yard, so I didnt want to put the trash outside. I have some friends coming to visit this weekend, so I wanted the house to be nice and clean. Plus, I'm always making the boys do things, and although they dont mind, and its a cultural norm to make people younger than you do stuff, I felt bad for bossing them around so much. So what did I do? I decided to burn my trash.

I know its bad for the environment, but most people burn their trash around here. I had never done it before, but its just “setting the trash on fire”...cant be too hard, right?

Wrong. These are the kinds of things you should think through. And this is definitely a situation where you should have a Plan B, or escape plan in case things go wrong. Guess who didnt?

I walked to the field out behind my yard. That was mistake number 1. Well actually, that was the main mistake...and thats where it all went wrong. Because the field is full of dried leaves and things...you know, FLAMMABLE things. But I wasnt thinking about that. I was thinking of all of the times that I've seen people burning trash, and if they could do it successfully, I could do it. So I lit a match. But it went out – because today was a pretty windy day.

Wind tends to help increase the strength of the fire. I know these things. But was I thinking about that in relation to this fire I was about to start?? Nope.

I lit another match, and dropped it on the trash. It caught, but it wasnt catching fast enough. So I lit another. Then I realized that the leaves were catching a bit. So I threw some leaves on top of the part that wasnt burning. Next thing I knew....things got a bit out of hand. Then, they got REALLY out of hand...

With my landlord's dog staring at me, as if she were thinking “you know you started that fire, right? Thats not good...” I ran to my neighbors house. With an empty bucket in my hand. I was so worked up, and afraid of burning my house down, that my Portuguese was terrible. First she thought I was asking for carvao (coal) to light a fire to cook with. Then she thought I was asking for water. Finally, I just grabbed her arm and said “Come with me!”

We got to my yard, and she saw the smoke coming from behind the reed fence. She yelled for her son. Then her daughter. Then her husband. They all came...and the first thing each of them asked was “Who started this fire?”. I swallowed my pride, and said “I did. I wanted to burn a bit of trash”. They all gave me a look of...I dunno....pity? Disappointment? Shame? Anger? Confusion? Who knows....but they quickly worked at putting the fire out....before it reached my other neighbors' reed fence. Then my neighbor yelled to me “You know, if this were earlier in the day, you would have burned down the whole neghborhood!!” referring to the extreme heat mid-day and the oppressive sun. She's right, I would have. But I didnt. Thank Goodness.

The fire got pretty large, and spread quicker than I could have ever imagined. Thankfully, they were able to get things under control. As they were leaving, they told me to sit and make sure that no little fires popped back up from under the ash of what was once the field behind my yard. I sat with a bucket of water, with some little girl who appeared out of no where, and we went around the smoldering ash sprinkling water on the parts that still had a bit of fire going. When we were done, the little girl asked if she could go get me more water. I said sure. While she was gone, I stayed out back, making sure that no fires came back. I was super paranoid (even now, about 2hrs later, Im still paranoid that the fire will come back....) She finally came back after about 30 minutes with my water....then she asked me for bread. I gave it to her, because she deserved it. She did something for me, and the least I could do is give her some bread. From now on....I'm not stopping anyone who wants to help me. If the boys want to take out my trash...so be it. Its better than burning down my entire town...

********PS - I have very regular internet access now. I mean, typing on a computer isn't nearly as satisfying as typing on my blackberry, but I'm getting used to it. So I promised to update more often. My life here is pretty amazing, and I think I'm just taking it all in...and forgetting to share. I promise....more updates and observations and stories coming soon. but hopefully no more fires. Those are bad...

I am Fine, and You?

September 20, 2011

Let's have a moment of silence...for my Blackberry. It died a horrible death a few days before my birthday.

Why have I been so silent? Well, I had about 5 saved blog entries on my Blackberry, that I cant manage to get off. They were good ones too. About being African-American in Mozambique, my take on women's rights and the current state of women in Mozambique...stuff like that. Oh well... One day I'll get the energy to write some meaningful posts, but for now, you just get a random update

Here's whats been going on:

1. A few months ago, in June, a kitten appeared on my doorstep. I fed him, and he never went away. I named him Pfifer. He was cute, until he became an attention whore, and always wanted me to pet him and hold him. He was really loud and obnoxious. Especially if I wasnt paying attention to him. So I made him an outdoor cat, which really meant he just hung out in the yard until I let him come inside to eat. Two weeks ago, he fell down the well in my yard and drowned. I'm a horrible mother. And thats the end of that story...

2. My landlord got two puppies. They were so cute. He sold one, and we kept the other, Whiskey. I dont know what I did to that dog, but she WILL NOT leave me alone. And she's figured out a way to get out of the fence when I leave so she can follow me. Whenever I try to leave. For work (or whereever else I may be going). Its cute that she loves me, but I literally cannot leave my house without this dog running after me. So I've been late to work a lot lately...

3. I started a REDES group, which is going well. What is REDES, you ask? Well, it stands for Raparigas Em Desinvolvimento, Educacao, e Saude...which in English means Girls in Development, education and health. Its a national Peace Corps project that essentially creates groups of adolescent girls in the community and we meet and discuss all different types of issues related to these 3 topics, as well as self esteem building, critical thinking and life skills. Some groups also do income generation or computer classes or other activities. My girls do theater and singing. And lucky for us, our first performance is coming up! I have about 13 girls, and they came up with a skit about HIV/AIDS that they will be presenting next Sunday. We even made matching headbands out of capulana fabric (with little flowers!) that we'll be wearing. I'm so proud of them!

4. The general consensus around these parts is that at first glance, people automatically think I'm either Mozambican, South African or Brazilian (Brazilian especially if my hair isnt braided). Those are what I get the most...but here's a list of other countries that people have guessed I'm from:

-Angola (The new Miss Universe is from Angola!)

-Malawi

-Zimbabwe

-Zambia

-Tanzania

-Sao Tome & Principe

-Cabo Verde

-Cuba

-Nigeria

-Guinea Bissau

-Portugal (I know right? WTF?)

-I have also been asked if I speak French, which I assume means people are thinking I'm from West/French speaking Africa

One guy (a cab driver in Maputo) guessed American. He got a gold star (no...he didnt really. But I was impressed) Most people just think I'm from Maputo, even people in Maputo are shocked that I'm not from there, but the further out I go, people automatically know I'm not like them, and start with their random guessing. I think most people just guess the countries they know of, and its not really based on how I look at all (like Nigeria...and Portugal...I dont look Nigerian at all. And I sure as heck dont look Portuguese...)

5. I GOT A BIRTHDAY CARE PACKAGE! My college friend Brian...it was right on time too! So happy...

6. I was walking the other day to the store in my community. I usually cut across the primary school because I'm lazy and dont want to walk around. I heard this little boy talking to his friends in Portuguese "I'm gonna do it! Watch! There she is!" I kept walking. His friends were giggling, and the little boy walked up to me, with a big smile on his face, and said, in English "How are you today, friend?" I responded "I'm good, thank you, how are you?" and in one breath, he said "IAMFINEANDYOU!" then he ran off, squeeling to his friends in Portugese "I DID IT! I DID IT!" I thought it was cute.

7. Further proof that I am crazy - I just finished a cross country trip, overland, from my site to Maputo. All so I could see the opening ceremony of the All-Africa Games 2011. Did I make it? Yes. Was it worth it? Yes! 3 days of traveling, each way. (with stops to visit friends of course). I had so much fun. Yes, I would do it again.

8. There are times when I feel like I am going to die from boredom. That was just a random thought.

9. We just got 30 new health volunteers. And in a few weeks, we're getting new education volunteers. In total, there will be around 170 volunteers in Mozambique.

10. As of the end of this month, I will have been in this country for a full year! Yay me! (I did it...somehow, I actually made it...)

Anyway, you people reading this should send me things.

I will hopefully post my other blogs soon, or at least rewrite and post soon.

The Sweetest Words ive Ever Heard...

June 6, 2011

So the other day, I was sitting at the office with the other women in my org, and we got into a very heated religious debate. The head of admin and I are about the same age. The nurse and our domestic help lady are older. The nurse tried to say that the "fruit" that Adam and Eve weren't allowed to eat was representative of sex, and once they had sex, God became angry with them, and that's what happened. She said she was taught by old Portuguese Catholic nuns, and that it was the truth. Violetta agreed with her. Angela and I contested that man and woman were put on the Earth to procreate, and to procreate, you have to have sex, so that interpretation couldn't have been true at all.

I could tell you how heated it got, but you wouldn't believe me. But it was intense.

Eventually, someone brought up the fact that I don't want to have kids, so how was I arguing that man and woman were made to procreate. And then everyone turned on me...and it was another one of THOSE conversations....

"You don't want to have a little baby that looks like you?". "You don't want to see what your child would look like?". "What kind of legacy do you want to leave on this earth?". "How will people remember you?". "Just have a baby and give it to me, I'll take care of it". "What if you get pregnant? You're not going to abort it, are you?". "You know, its a sin for a woman not to have a baby."

The usual arguments. I was fully prepared to defend my decision, no big deal. But then it took a turn for the worse....

The nurse said "this time next year, you're going to be pregnant. I know these things. You're GOING to get pregnant". She said it with such seriousness and impact...its as if she plans on chasing me down and impregnating me herself. Then she said "its gonna be twins". Then Angela, the younger one, said that she's going to pray every night that I get pregnant with triplets.

Now...I'm certain that God knows just as well as I do that I am the LAST person who needs to have a baby (or 3). So, in the interest of the child (ren), and my mental health, that will probably be one of the prayers that He doesn't answer. But still....I was actually OFFENDED. And hurt. I told them they were all really mean, and I left the conversation.

I mean...how could someone wish something so terrible on me?

Anyway, fast forward to last week. The nurse has a worried look on her face. "All that money I had....I just got paid, and my daughter needed money for school, and my granddaughter needed money, and I had to buy them food....I think you're right.."

"Right about what?". I said.

"Not having children. They're expensive. And now I don't have any money. You're right"

I laughed. I know I'm right. But she wasn't the only one to realize it...

Last Wednesday was "Dia da Criança" or "Children's Day". Its a day where Mozambican parents pretty much spoil their kids. And through spoiling the kids, adults reap ther benefits too (like if you're in a house that can never afford meat, but you saved up so your child could eat meat on dia da criança, this 6yr old isn't gonna eat this entire slab of ribs by herself, right?). Anyway, Angela, the younger one turns to me and says "you're right". I say "what" and she said "this day is expensive. You're right not to want children..."

I think they finally get it. And I think they might leave me alone now...well a little bit. I think they're getting used to it. Someone had a baby at the office, and they all said "oh! It looks like Kyla!". Then they laughed, and said "oh, she doesn't want kids"...and then that was that. No long debates. No evil wishes. Could it be?

Random Ridiculousness...

Here's a collection of really random things from my really random mind...

1. In Americaland, we are right natured. We're taught to walk on the right side, drive on the right side, etc etc. Well here...its the opposite. And I'm having issues with that. Every time I get into a car, I go to the wrong side...the drivers side, then I have to run around to the other side and apologize to the driver. Everyone stares at me when I ride my bike, because I tend to ride on the wrong side...against traffic. When I cross the street, I have to constantly look both ways because I'm not quite sure which way traffic is going. Not to mention when I'm walking down the street and someone is approaching on the same path, I step to the wrong side to let them pass, so we end up in an awkward standoff type situation, where I step to the left and they step the same way, and so I try to go the other direction and they do the same and both of us are confused and don't know how to let the other person pass so we just pause until someone decides to just go around....

Yeah...its awkward.

2. Did you know people create and keep pigeons as pets??? Who knew that stupid annoying bird could be a pet. A pet that is cared for way better than the dogs around here...

3. My new name is "Americana". I was walking to work one day and a chapa drove by. The cobrador was sitting ON TOP of the chapa (I mean...why not, right?) And he saw me and started yelling "Americana!! Hey! Americana! We're going to Lichinga, are you coming! Hey!!! Americana!!". Then, the next day, one of my activistas couldn't remember my name (or didn't even care to use my name) and addressed me as...you guessed it..."Americana". Someone on the street was trying to get my attention..."Americana". Yeah...that's my name around these parts.

4. I was walking home for lunch one day past the primary school. The kids were singing the Mozambican National Anthem. I realized that while they were outside singing, people across the street had stopped and started singing, and I was the only person walking. So I stopped and thought "is it disrespectful for me to walk by while they're singing the National Anthem?" I stood there and waited for them to finish. Thing is, I had stopped right out in the open, so everyone could see me. I felt awkward, because if I could have kept walking, everyone saw me standing there watching kids sing...I dunno. It was kind of weird. I felt like people were looking at me like "why are you watching these children singing, weirdo?". But I couldn't move because I didn't want to run the risk of being disrespectful.

5. Women in groups can get really rowdy. That's all I have to say about that.

6. I love street vendors, I really really do.

The Great Mato Adventure

A few weeks ago, my org decided to round up the nurse, some activistas, me, and some other colleagues in our pick up truck, and head out to the mato.

What and where is the mato, you ask?

The mato is way out there. Like the boonies, but in Africa. The bush. Not in the town, but the outskirts. Like...you know...far. But we have people there too who need our help. And our activistas work way out there (sometimes 30-40km away) so we had to visit.

On our first stop, we got out of the car with pretty much the entire community watching us. That's the thing about the mato, they don't get many visitors and when people come...its pretty much the only thing happening at the time, so people come out to watch. The nurse, the activista for that area, and I were led to the home of the community leader. We sat at his house, and I was introduced. Afterward, we discussed the situation with people in the community, the people that we knew or suspected of being HIV+, or having terminal illnesses, and the work of the activistas in the community. After our conversation, we came outside to about 50 kids playing on the back of the truck and maybe 50 more surrounding it. Laughing and playing. I took a picture, and they all squealed with delight. This went on in each of the bairros we visited. Throngs of children on the truck, completely fascinated. Riding through communities with kids chasing behind. Driving through tall grass, through narrow paths, on a sunny day with big puffy clouds in the sky. Meeting people, who had no clue which language to greet me in...so they just guessed. People who speak Makua (Emakua) usually see me and greet me in Ciyao. People who speak Ciyao usually see me and greet me in Makua. People that know Portuguese just assume (correctly) that I'm not from around here and its best to just stick to Portuguese. We encountered a group of people, and since its customary to greet everyone individually, I got bombarded with 3 different greetings at a time...and left completely confused.

It was all so beautiful.

That is...until we were driving through tall grass and trees and got a flat tire. No one had cell phone service. And we couldn't find the spare. We all got out and a group of kids, like 40, crowded around us (children just appear out of nowhere around here...). I started to think "what if we're stuck here in the mato?? I have no clue where I am, no clue how to get back home, it'll be dark soon, and I'm thirsty!"

I thought about what would happen if I died out there in the mato. In the wilderness. With the grass and trees and mato kids and bugs and goats. Stupid me for not bringing water. I had some mandioca and sugar cane. That was it. And I don't even like sugar cane, but if I have to chew it to stay alive, I will...

While I was going off into a paranoid rant in my mind, they found the spare. And we all sat around: me, the nurse, the activistas, and the crowd of children, while the driver changed the tire. Things were well, we all piled back in the car, and I didn't die in the mato.

A happy ending.

I Know How Beyonce Feels...if Beyonce did her own laundry...

May, 2011

I feel like Beyonce. Or Michelle Obama. Or Madonna. Or any other really really ridiculously famous woman. Because when they say that being in Peace Corps is like living in a fishbowl, they weren't lying. Everyone is watching me. And everything I do, every move I make, every breath I take, every step I take, they're watching me. And they're absolutely fascinated...

I was ashy the other day. Happens. I pulled out some lotion. Then everyone watched as I rubbed it on, asked me what it was, which resulted me passing around my lotion (that wasn't even special, I stole it from a hotel in Nampula...) so everyone could examine the special "American lotion" that wasn't even American.

I took out my braids one day and wore my hair natural. Big mistake. I got to work and everybody had to touch my hair, comment on my hair and ask me questions about my hair...it was like being in college again (only certain ppl will understand that reference).

If I wear a different pair of shoes....if I paint my nails a new color....if I wear earrings one day....its a huge production. People are just fascinated by my every move. People know me and I have no clue who they are. People yell out to me on the street and are excited to talk to me. Being famous was fun at first...but now I just want to be normal. I'm tired of everyone watching and critiquing my every action, and then commenting in local language to each other..

Believe me, NOTHING is more awkward and annoying than knowing that people are right in front of you talking about you in a language you don't understand...

OH- and don't get me started on me, being a celebrity, and doing something completely off the wall and strange...

My organization has a washing machine. And a dryer.

(I thanked the good Lord in heaven when I heard the news. No more handwashing clothes?? I'm sure I'm the ONLY PCV-esp in Africa- with a washing machine. And a dryer. Envy me)

Anyway, my org got a washing machine and dryer as a way to generate some income on the side. Thing is, everyone here is used to handwashing clothes, and has never even seen a washing machine. So my supervisor said I was welcome to use it at any time...because its just sitting there.

Silly me, I decided to wash my first load of clothes on a Monday. When people were at the office. Needless to say, I've never had an audience while washing my clothes, and I'd prefer it if I never had one again. There were 20 women, crowded around me, as I sorted through my dirty clothes, all asking me how it worked, what to do, and marveling at each step in the process. I turned on the water to a collective "ohh!!". I put in detergent to sounds of utter shock and awe, and comments in local language. I put in my clothes with a group of people breathing down my neck. Everytime I touched a button "what does that do?". "So you don't scrub the clothes first?""How does it get clean?".

I'm just doing laundry. Is it really that big of a deal?

After my first load was done washing, I wanted to use the dryer, but this gang of women protested and said I had to hang my laundry on the line. I'm not quite sure why...they just felt it was better that way. And they all grabbed my clothes and hung them on the line for me...after expressing their concern for my grabbing my wet clothes ("you're gonna get your outfit wet. Here, give me these clothes...")

That's another thing...people treat me like I'm fragile and can't do anything for myself. Or rather....can't do anything at all. I can't even sit with everyone else on the ground, I have to sit in a chair. I don't get my own water from the well that is 15ft away from my door, because the boys in my quintal won't let me. I was carrying a bag a bread the other day (bread! And nothing else) and someone rushed to help me, and grabbed the bag and walked me to my front door. People like to accompany me to the market, or to the store. And if I make a sound, or sigh, or clear my throat...automatically something is wrong with me and everyone is overly concerned.

Does Beyonce have these issues? I think around these parts, I'm more famous than she is. And that's no fun. If everyone here had cameras, I'd be on Mozambican TMZ...

Anyway, although it definitely seems like I'm complaining, I'm not. Ok I am, but its not that bad. I've gotten used to having an audience while I do laundry. And I have to remember that lots of people here have never seen washing machines. The last time I did laundry, I actually had fun showing the women what to do. There were only 2 as opposed to 20. They were some of my younger activistas. AND they asked if they could watch...they were so nice, I couldn't say no. After the clothes were washing, they said "that's it??? And so you can just go on about your day while your clothes are washing? Oh that's AMAZING! You can go for a walk, or cook....its that easy?? No scrubbing for hours in the sun?"

"No, and this machine here dries it for you. 1-2hrs, and you're done with your laundry"

That's right..I'm teaching people how to become lazy Americans. One step at a time.

The Girly Girls Guide to Life in Peace Corps Mozambique

The Girly Girl's Guide to Life in Peace Corps Mozambique

So, there's a new group of Health trainees coming in June. Health tends to be a very girl heavy sector of Peace Corps, and judging from the Facebook stalking I have been doing, there are definitely some girly-girls in the bunch. So, I've decided to share some of the knowledge I've gained, and have developed this short “Girly Girl's Guide to Life in Peace Corps Mozambique”. I hope it helps :)

1. Nail Polish is so important. Bring some. Why is it important? Well, the kind you get here sucks. It gives you something to do when you're bored. And girly girls like to be pretty. It will make you happier. And it's also a good conversation starter. I'm partial to very bright colors that always catch people's attention. Great way to get people talking to you, and therefore excellent for your integration! Also, bring a lot, because you'll be constantly changing the polish on your toes. It gets gross and chipped really quickly, especially if you're at the beach a lot.

2. Make-up is also equally important. That is, if you wore it in the States. I'm an eyeshadow kind of girl, and although I hardly wear it on a day to day basis, there are opportunities (like important functions, nightclub outings, etc) where you want to look like you made an effort. Plus, when you're bored, it also serves as a distraction. And when you're feeling down, it always helps to look pretty (Remember, when you feel your worst, look your best!) Also dont forget lip gloss! Drylip is not cute.

3. BRING YOUR FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCTS! And before you go, find a connect in the States who will send you replacements as you need them. No matter what color you are, or what texture your hair, you will NOT be able to find your favorite hair products. Emergency backup shampoo and conditioner, yes. Maybe even some Pantene. But the Carol's Daughter, L'oreal, Tresseme, Kinky Curly, crème of Nature, Paul Mitchell, etc etc? Not happening. The same also goes for styling tools. You will not find a quality flat iron or blowdryer. Please pack accordingly. (if there is a girl out there who relaxes her hair, you can find Dark and Lovely relaxer. Personally, I dont do that...but it is available. I would just recommend doing it yourself. I have yet to see a good relaxer job on anyone, except for in Maputo and Nampula)

4. Onto the subject of clothes: Before I came to Moz, someone told me that Mozambique is where clothes come to die. They were right. The harsh conditions (handwashing, drying in the hot sun) can definitely take a toll. HOWEVER, you dont just want to bring your “crocodile dundee” hiking clothes either. You will want to express yourself, wear clothes you like, and feel comfortable. Anything you'd be pissed about destroying, dont bring (like, dont bring the Chanel and the DVF). But, I'd say bring your favorites too. Think about it: you're here for two years. Most girls gain weight (although some lose weight. Luckily I'm on the losing side, although barely) and when you get back, will those clothes really fit or be in style? Might as well wear them here where you'll be the most fashionable one in your town. I say find a balance of cute clothes and other clothes. Just know that they will get messed up eventually, so dont put too much effort into it. But also know, that if you're like me, you WILL go out when you have the opportunity to do so. And Mozambican women put effort into their appearance (even if some of them miss the mark). So you want to at least look like you tried.

5. Shoes: Chacos and Tevas are your friends. Because your shoes will take a beating. But, I recommend bringing at least one pair of cute shoes, like a pair of cute sandals. My cute sandals are versatile and just dressy enough to work at all functions. Plus, going out in Tevas is NOT cool.

6. Underwear: No one likes granny panties. But just know that your cute lacy undies won't stay cute and lacy for long.

7. Feet: Bring a pumice stone, or a Ped Egg, or some type of scrubber/scraper, because your feet (especially if you wear flip flops a lot) will get GROSS. QUICKLY and OFTEN. And Claudia (the Training Manager) is strictly against what she calls “Peace Corps Feet” and will probably give you a lecture on properly caring for your feet. Also, Mozambicans notice if your feet are jacked, and will call you out on it.

8. Soaps and Perfumes: While its not necessary to bring your favorite perfume, you might want to have it. Just because. Definitely bring your favorite soap though. The soap here is ok, but there arent many special scents, and it gets you clean, but you dont have that “soft” feeling after using a bar of Caress

9. Batteries: Because when they go out, you'll be pissed.

10. Scented Candles: When the power goes out, its nice to have a delightful scent fill the air. Plus, I just love candles.

11. Deodorant: I saw some Lady Mitchum (the brand I use) at Shoprite the other day. But for safety's sake, bring lots of your favorite kind. You've been forewarned.

12. Baby wipes: You can buy them here, although they're kinda expensive. I realized the value of Baby Wipes in the States. If you havent, then dont worry about it.

13. Baby powder: You can also buy it here. Under-boob sweat is NOT your friend. And chafing is real here, people.

14. Your computer! Dont be one of those PCVs who says “Oh, I want the PC experience. I dont want to bring my computer” You'll just annoy everyone else by always asking to use theirs.

15. Facewash: In training, my skin (and mostly EVERYONE ELSE's too) broke out, terribly. I looked like a pimply faced 16 yr old. So make sure you have a set skin care routine. It might not help initially, but it will help things to clear out once your body stops freaking out.

16. Bath gloves: These were the BEST thing I brought with me, really. Exfoliating is SO necessary, and you actually feel clean, something that is sometimes hard to achieve here when you're taking bucket baths (for a lot of you-outside)

17. Lotion: I dont like the lotion here. I like my Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion. SO I brought it, and I'm happy.

18. Razors/Refill Cartridges: They have disposable razors here, which work just fine I guess. Nothing can be as good as my BIC Soleil. Bring your favorite kind, because when you're trying to shave while taking a bucket bath, you need the least amount of complications possible.

19. Earplugs: People in Mozambique wake up early and go to bed late. I, on the other hand, value my sleep.

20. Chewing Gum: I like gum.

21. Its totally ok to bring an unlocked blackberry. You can get the service turned on for a monthly fee,and personally I love having it. Just know that it will take a beating. And it would be smart to get another, cheap phone here to walk around with. Because cities like Nampula are known for being shady...

For now, I think thats it. Luckily, Mozambique is a country where lots of things are available, and there are lots of opportunities for a girly girl to be...well...girly! If you've been chosen to serve in PC Moz, you have definitely hit the lottery! It is amazing here, and I wouldnt want it any other way :)

25 MORE Things I've learned in Peace Corps Mozambique

April 25, 2011

April 27^th marks my 7^th month in this country and my 5^th month at site. I have definitely learned a lot since then, and definitely more since my last “25 things I've learned” post. So here are 25 more things I've learned in Peace Corps Mozambique

1. The more times you face sudden death by riding in a chapa, the more numb to it you become.
2. The reason why roosters arent as obnoxious in the north of Mozambique is because people eat them.

3. Mozambican children can dance way better than you can.

4. Street food is ALWAYS worth the risk

5. There are way more holidays in Mozambique than there are in the States.

6. Considering the varying levels of deodorant usage in Mozambique, some people's armpit smell is actually tolerable. Some people...definitely not.

7. Never EVER try to attempt a physical feat that a Mozambican has been doing for years (like carrying 20L buckets of water on your head.)

8. Everything in Mozambique is like USPS Priority mail: “If it fits, it ships”

9. Children really enjoy running around naked.

10. The rainy season causes actual fault lines in dirt roads.

11. The sunset is way more beautiful in Africa.

12. The Indian Ocean in the best ocean to swim in.

13. Although it's a terrible business practice, all of the women sitting next to each other selling tomatoes (or sitting together selling other similar products) are perfectly happy doing so.

14. There's a fine line between development and changing a culture. Many people dont see that.

15. The Mozambique 20 years from now will look TOTALLY different than the Mozambique now.

16. Mozambicans as a whole are some of the nicest people on the planet.

17. Every person in the world loves free food. Just like college-people will show up if there's food.

18. Women love gossip. And so do men.

19. With the extreme lack of rules and regulations, and large amounts of general recklessness, you would think more people/kids would get hurt...the only difference is when they do get hurt, its just more traumatic and serious.

20. If any man enters your house for more than 5 minutes, you're sleeping with him.

21. When a PCV finds free internet, it's like gold.

22. “American” food in Mozambique is generally disappointing and confusing (the waffles are NEVER waffles. Sausage is pretty much just cut up hot dogs. Bacon is unrecognizable.)

23. You never know how creative you can get with food until your options are suddenly cut down about 75%

24. The concept of “personal space” is almost non existent here

25. People are just nosy. Thats just the way it is.

My Romantic Weekend Getaway

April 25, 2011

I have time to blog away, because today is some random holiday in my town. There are LOTS of holidays in Mozambique. I'm ok, with that, I went to the market, bought some stuff, and came back and took a nap. Unfortunately, the power was out, so the grilled cheese I have been looking forward to making was put off for a bit. But now its back! So excited.

I just got back from Maputo, which is always a delight. It's like a tiny slice of the western world. Although there was no massage and eyebrow thredding this time (THIS time...), I did have some EXCELLENT food and drink, saw some live shows, hung out at the French Cultural Center, did LOTS of shopping, and got a chance to see my host family. Oh yeah, and I had my reconnect conference. That was fun too. Ate way too much food. So much that I should be ashamed of myself. We also got the chance to attend the Peace Corps 50^th Anniversary party at the Ambassador's residence. It was quite a snazzy party. Feels good to dress up and schmooze for a little bit. (Just like old times!)

Anyway, after my much needed Maputo time, I decided to take a weekend trip to the lake with my good friend Chris. The night before we left, we tested out his new oven by making homemade pizza (which turned out HEAVENLY) and brownies (which we ended up tossing out...Peace Corps cookbook has some typos!) and he had some friends over from Doctors Without Borders (who brought much better brownies) and we ate. It was great. We left the next morning for Chuwanga, which is right outside of Methangula, home to the Mozambique side of Lake Malawi. I spent my entire day Saturday on the beach, which is always refreshing. As we were leaving on Sunday, the man who works at the restaurant was walking us back to catch a chapa, and he asks me “oh, is this your husband?” Of course people had been staring at Chris and I all weekend, since he's white and I'm not. Interracial dating isnt really an issue here (especially since the Portuguese came in and now there are mixed people all over this country...) but it's still a curious sight, at least in the more rural areas. Little do they know that Chris is definitely gay, so...there was none of that going on. But since homosexuality isnt a reality for many people in rural Mozambique (they just think it doesnt exist here...these people get the side eye from me), if we shared a room, we had to be..you know...fornicating. So I tell the guy “No, he's not my husband” to which he replies “Oh, your boyfriend?” Chris says no, and tries to explain to the guy that in American culture, things are a little different. Too bad he completely failed at explanation. Chris said, “No, in America its normal for friends to stay together in the same room. Its ok, we do it all of the time” to which the guy replied “Oh, so you're just 'brincar'ing. Ok”.

To “brincar” in Portuguese is to play. In Mozambican slang, it means to just...well..sleep together, with no strings attached.

Chris and I laughed. Then the guy says “But you could get married if you want to” Chris replies “Sure, I guess we could, if we wanted to”. Then the guy says “Yeah, that wouldnt be a problem. You could just go down to the Registo Civil and sign the papers. It'll be easy. It'll be a good thing” I laughed. Not only does this guy think I'm having sex with my gay friend Chris, but he also thinks I'm Mozambican, and has taken it upon himself to openly condone me marrying this white guy, as if it has anything to do with him. Either that, or he has taken it upon himself to convince me to get married if I'm going to “brincar” with this guy, still, as if it has anything to do with him. He concludes by saying, “Yeah, you guys'll get married. You should marry him!” We laughed it off and continued walking.

Part 2 (Days 2 & 3) of the The Epic Battle...also known as "The Ratatouille Rumble"...also known as "3 days of Torture"...

April 10, 2011

I went to work, rocking my curly fro-hawk. I tried to put on some makeup to hide the fact that I hadn't slept at all the night before. Didnt work. The nurse from my org asked me what was going on. I told her about the rat. She laughed. Apparently people find it funny that I'm afraid of a rat. Whatever. We left to go find the lady at the salon who could do my hair, and I spent the whole day, getting my hair done.

Late in the afternoon, as I'm sitting outside of the salon with this women braiding my hair, I see the nurse walking up with two white people. The girl doing my hair says "I wonder who theyre looking for" I grabbed my glasses and put them on, and I realize: These are two of my friends from Peace Corps! They were supposed to come visit me today! I had totally forgotten that I was supposed to have visitors. They come up and sit with me while this lady braids. We chat for a while, and it starts to get dark. Then...of course....the power goes out. The lady cant braid anymore, because by this time, it's dark and she cant see. So she tells me to come back at 6am the next morning so she can finish, and I can leave for me trip. Lucas, Janet (my guests) and I decide to grab some dinner at the restaurant in town. I was starving, and since I have an electric stove, cooking wasnt an option. Thankfully at the restaurant, they use carvao (coal)

When we get there, I tell them they are welcome to stay with me, but there's a rat in my house. They assure me that it's no problem, they arent afraid of rats. Maybe they could even help me catch it. Then the guy who's in love with me shows up, and I invite him to eat with us. After dinner, we all walk back to my house. My landlord's wife is outside, and so are the boys. I make the guy go in and check around for the rat. Nothing. He tells my landlord's wife that he thinks it left, maybe through a hole or something. I set up the mattress again for Luke and Janet, and after everyone took a bath, we all go to sleep.

Or at least...we tried...

I was the first person to wake up, mainly because I was a paranoid mess in my bed. I yelped when I felt the rat...doing something... under my bed. Luke and Janet called out to make sure I was ok, then they told me to just tuck my mosquito net, and I should be fine. That was just the beginning of a night of torture. The rat jumped all over them, was running around my room, and about every 20 minutes, one of us jumped up and screamed (mainly me), grabbed a flashlight and looked around. The rat had a field day (or night) and none of us slept.

We got up the next day, and I apologized to them for not having a good night's sleep. They kinda grumbled and I sent them on their way to the chapa stop. I told my landlord that the rat was STILL in my house, but I had to go finish my hair. When I came back, I told the boys, who were cooking lunch outside with some of their friends. Miguel, the oldest boy, told me that as soon as he finished the xima, he would come get the rat. I could hear him and his friends laughing outside "There's a rat in her house, and she's scared! So we have to get it out for her..."

I continued to pack my things, and Miguel showed up at my door, with a bamboo stick. He was like a soldier or something. He was methodical and determined, focused on getting this rat out of my house. He banged about, just like the other guy had, but with more determination and force. The other boy came in, and they split, one in the bedroom, one in the livingroom, leaving no stone unturned. They banged around for a while, not finding anything. I was certain the rat was still in the house. Miguel came out of my bedroom, and I thought he had given up. Instead, he asked for my chair and climbed up to check the rafters in the ceiling. By this time, both boys were in my bedroom, thinking ourloud to themselves "Where is this thing?"

I was organizing somethings in the livingroom, and all of a sudden, I hear the boys start to make a commotion. And here comes this little rat, running towards me with the most petrified expression on his little face, as if he was begging me to save him. I ran out of my front door. I could hear the boys banging around with their bamboo sticks, and then I see Miguel kick the rat out of the front door, its little body twitching and squirming about. He comes out after it, to finish it off, and bangs its little head with the bamboo stick again. He then looks at me, and says "Is that the only one, or do you think there's more?" I shake me head no, too shocked to speak and walk back into the house.

Afterwards, I hear my landlord's wife come home. She asks the boys if they got the rat out of my house. They said yeah, then start making fun of the way I ran out of the livingroom.

Then I hear the one boy, Feliciano, call out to Miguel "Hey, make sure you cook that rat well"

I grabbed my stuff and left for my trip, just happy the whole ordeal was over.

Day 1 of the The Epic Battle...also known as "The Ratatouille Rumble"...also known as "3 days of Torture"...

April 10, 2011


So, it all began last Thursday, when I was taking out my braids, preparing for my upcoming trip to Maputo for my In-Service Training Conference. It was Day of the Mozambican Woman, so I had the day off. I was watching an episode of "The Wire" on my computer in my livingroom. The front door was open, because it was hot. I had just finished eating the best macaroni salad I have ever made in my entire life. Next thing I know, the power goes out. Not a big deal, because that tends to happen all of the time in my town, so I got up, lit a few candles, and sat back down. Dont need light to unbraid your hair, the light from my computer screen was all I needed. The door stayed open, because without power, my fan wasnt on...and my house gets really stuffy.

Suddenly, I hear something rustling in the trash by the front door. I look, and I see something fall out and run into my bedroom.

A rat.

I immediately jumped up onto my chair. I had no clue what to do. I've never had a rat in my house, and since the power was out, this thing had an advantage. Utterly freaked out, I grabbed my phone and called my friend, who told me "I told you to get a cat!" Then I asked myself why I even called her in the first place, since she's a.) on the other side of the country and b.) NOT helpful at all. We ended the conversation with her saying "well, its a rat, its not going to bother you. Its just as scared as you are...."

So I sat there, trying to figure out what to do. I didnt have a cat, and since I was going to be gone for the next 2 weeks, I couldnt get one if I tried. I stared at the entrance to my bedroom. Nothing. I didnt hear anything, and after a while, I started to think that maybe it wasnt a rat. Maybe it was a lizard. I can deal with lizards. I can't deal with rats. I closed the door anyway, because whatever it was, I didnt want more to come in.

A little while later, the power came back. I heard the usual cheers off in the distance when the power comes back on in the town. By this time, I was done with the braids and ready to wash my hair. But in order to get to my bathroom, I had to go through my bedroom, where this thing that could possibly be a rat was. And if I was washing my hair in my bathroom, I had to leave the door open, because my bathroom is a small dar dungeon with no light. If I left the door open, the rat could run in, and I would have nowhere to go...

Yeah, basically I was too scared to go to my bathroom.

So I set up a hairwashing station, right there in my livingroom. I grabbed my hair products, some buckets and things, and some water and a cup. As I was washing, I look up, and in the doorway between my livingroom and my bedroom, there it was, looking at me. I screamed. And it ran under my bed.

I had just confirmed that there was a rat in my house. My heart was racing. By this time, it was 10:30 at night. I grabbed my phone and texted my landlord, in all caps "MINHA CASA TEM RATO!" (Pretty much: "There's a rat in my house!". I had forgotten that it was his birthday, AND his wife was in town and he hadnt seen her in a few months. He responded with something that pretty much translates to: "I'll have the boys find it tomorrow and kill it. Goodnight."

Goodnight? GOODNIGHT? What in the world....how could I have a good night with a RAT in my house? My house is so small, there's only a few places it could go. I didnt want that stupid rat crawling all over me and my things all night. The boys that live in my quintal were off doing whatever 17-year olds do at 10:30 at night, probably just as busy as my landlord. So here I was, all alone, with this rat. I had no choice but to call the guy who's in love with me.

Who's that you ask? There's a guy, and he's really nice, but I dont like him (like that) but he's in love with me. And would do anything for me. Including getting out of bed and walking over to my house to kill a rat. And thats what he did.

When the guy showed up, I didnt even leave my chair, I just told him to come in. He laughed. I'm sure I was a sight to see, by this time with the conditioner in, but sill an all around mess. I told him where he could find the rat, and I stayed in my livingroom. He grabbed my broom and unscrewed it so he just had the stick. I asked him "What are you going to do?" He said he was going to find it and kill it. I asked "With what?" He said "My shoe."

How in the HE--How is he going to kill a rat with his shoe, I wondered. Thats going to be a disgusting mess, and I'm gonna make him clean it up, with bleach, I thought. But it would all be worth it once he got that rat out of my house.

Anyway, he started poking and prodding around, under the bed, behind things. Problem is, since I was packing for my upcoming trip, I had suitcases and clothes all over. So he asked me to come in and help him pick up stuff, so the rat wouldnt have anywhere to hide. It took some convincing, but I eventually got up and we did some organizing. After all of that....he couldnt find the rat. He looked under the bed, under the armiore (how do you spell that?) all around....no rat. I knew I wasnt crazy, but still....where was this rat? He tried to convince me that it must've left somehow. By this time it was like 11:30pm. He asked if it was ok if he left, and I said yeah. He said if it shows up again, call him, he'd come back.

About 10 minutes after he sent me a text saying he had gotten home, the rat showed up. By this time, I had rinsed out the conditioner and had started rebraiding my hair. Immediately, I called him, and he laughed again and said he'd come back over. While I was waiting for him to show up, the rat decided to run out of my bedroom and under my cabinet in the livingroom. I screamed, again. And jumped on the chair....again. As I'm shaking and hyperventilating, it creeps out. I scream. It runs back under the cabinet. It creeps out again. I scream again. It runs back under the cabinet again. I figure this is a good way to make sure that it stays in the same place, so he can easily access it and kill it. This goes on for a while, until this rat decides to get bold, runs TOWARDS me, under my chair, towards the door (which I had closed) and then BACK into my bedroom, leaving me hysterical, screaming, and heaving on my chair. I call the guy, who hadnt shown up yet, pretty much screaming into the phone "WHERE ARE YOU? THIS RAT IS STILL HERE!!" It's amazing how perfect my Portuguese is when I'm stressed or scared. He assures me that he's almost at my house. Imagine me, with halfbraided wet hair, hugging my knees, shaking in a chair, on the verge of tears...thats how I looked when he finally showed up.

This time, he actually saw the rat.

He started pulling my mattress from the frame, hitting the floor with the broomstick, and running around like a crazy man. I just sat there, shocked and silent, looking on. The rat ran out of my bedroom, around my livingroom again, and back to the bedroom, with this guy chasing behind. I hear someone outside. I opened the door and saw my landlord's wife. I told her what was going on, and since she saw that the guy was in my house banging around, she figured everything was under control, and she went to bed. He continued to chase that rat around for about another half hour, until...

The power went out again.

My house was pitch black. It was about 12am. And this stupid rat has us beat. I lit candles again, and he tried to look for the rat some more, but it was no use. This rat had won. The guy asked what I wanted him to do. Well, there was no way that I could be in that house alone, with a rat AND no light. So he offered to stand guard. We sat there, and waited. The power never came back on, and the rat would appear and dissappear as he pleased. I had some peanuts (it was all I had), so we set it out to try to lure the rat. Didnt work. At about 2am, the guy could tell I was sleepy, so he said I could sleep while he waited for the rat. Even though I knew it wasnt going to happen, I tried to sleep anyway. I pulled out my extra mattress for him, put it on the livingroom floor, and made sure he knew that just because I was pulling out a mattress for him, he couldnt go to sleep. He had to watch for the rat. I climbed into my bed, tucked my mosquito net, and tried to sleep. I woke up repeatedly...hearing the rat, or feeling it under (or ON?) my bed...but everytime I woke up, he was up, watching for the rat. I hardly slept that night. Neither did he.

At 7am, the rat was still in the house, the power was still out, and the guy was still up. I told him he could leave, especially since we both had to work. I opened my door and my landlord's wife was outside, sitting with her friends (WHO has guests over at 7am??? ONLY in Mozambique). They see this guy coming out of my house. I try to explain to them that the rat is in my house, and he was trying to get it out, and I refused to sleep alone in a house with a rat...they just shrugged it off and watched him leave.

Awesome, now they think I'm banging this guy....

I got dressed and went to work.

Like I said before....

No news is good news.

I have been spending time lately integrating and finding my place at work. I'm pretty much "over" doing home visits everyday, so I took it upon myself to revamp my organizations monitoring and evaluation systems, which turn into me creating new forms to track if the activists are doing their jobs, patient care sheets, sheets designed for our activists that cant read or write...etc etc. And I've also been helping out with the monthly reports, and the entire organizational structure...so...yeah. I'm much happier now doing organizational development work than when I was just going house to house visiting patients in our home care program.


Other than that, I'm prepping to leave for our in-Service Training in two weeks (in Maputo! Yay!) and some other things that might be happening. We have a whole new batch of health volunteers coming in June. And so many trainings and things coming up, so yeah....its looking a little busy in the near future. Things are still the same, I wish I had more to write. So many interesting things happen everyday, and I get so caught up in it all, I forget to write things down (and to take pictures). I went to Ilha de Mocambique two weeks ago, which is this beautiful island off the coast in the Indian Ocean. It was absolutely gorgeous. Its all so....vintage. It's home to Mozambique's first hospital (it was actually the first capital of Mozambique) and its just....gorgeous. Yeah, there's really no other words to describe it. All the seafood you could ever want. Giant beautiful seashells. Old forts. Sand. The smell of the salt in the air from the ocean. Yeah...little slice of heaven.

To get to Ilha from the Niassa province, you have to take the train. Its an 11hr (give or take) adventure. If you're lucky enough to get 2nd class tickets, you get these sleeper cars, 4 (although on my way back, it was 6) to a room. Which is great, because you leave at 5am. Every stop, people from the villages/towns RUSH to the train to sell stuff. It is literally way better than a grocery store. I took some pictures of the frenzy, I'll post them later. But really, everyone (EVERYONE) comes when the train rolls by. There's people hanging out of the train windows buying giant bags of onions, tomatoes, potatoes, chili peppers, green peppers, garlic, peanuts, giant esteiras, chickens, mandioca, etc. There's kids running by selling water, bread, bajilhas, samosas, people negotiating. And once the train starts to pull off, you see people actually running after it, trying to get their money, people trying to sell last minute items, people hanging out of the window trying to reach for their change...its really a sight to see. We pretty much spent the entire train ride eating. And everytime the train stopped, we'd stick our heads out of the windows to watch the show. Hundreds of people, doing business. Selling their crops. (cheap too! I bought a bag of onions for 20mts)

The shopping frenzy at every stop makes you forget that the ride is so long. It was actually a lot of fun....seeing what different things were available at what stop. When the conductors come by to check tickets, they offer to make change for people who will be shopping. Plus, the ride is so scenic...and there's no potholes. Way better than a chapa.

Thats the way of the world....

February 26, 2011

I got a care package! Someone actually loves me! Yay for my Dad!

Anyway, it seems like every so often, I find a way to completely freak out my co-workers. First of all, everything I do is fascinating to them. If I wear something different, or wear my hair different, or paint my toenails, no matter what I do, it becomes a huge deal. Sometimes it's intentional, like:

1.) The time I told everyone that I didnt want to have children.

I knew people might find it strange. But... not like this. You know that face that McCauly Caulkin made in Home Alone when he used the aftershave and it burned his face?

This one:

Imagine 5 people giving you that face, all at once.

I then tried explaining to them that lots of women choose not to have children, because they dont want to. Or they (like me) still have things to do with their lives, and dont want kids weighing them down. No one understood me. People in this part of Mozambique are used to girls being pregnant at the age of 15, with like 5 kids (or more) by the time they're my age. I'm already an anomaly. The nurse from my organization completely ignored what I said, and told everyone "No, she means that once she gets done here, and she creates the right conditions, then she'll have children."

although that might be true, maybe one day in the future (but more than likely not), I clarified "No. I dont want to have babies. Ever."

Then I had to answer questions like "but God says we're supposed to multiply. What are you going to tell God?" and "but what are you going to do when you get old, who's going to take care of you?" and "You dont want to get married?"

Of course I want to get married. ''All men want to have babies...so if you get married, you have to have children"

I laughed. I know that isnt true. Anyway, then it turned into a conversation about me only having "5 more good years" to get pregnant, cultural differences, women being alone, homosexuality, and contraceptives....

Needless to say, it got weird. This conversation was about a month ago. And they talked about it constantly, pretty much introducing me to everyone like "this is Kyla, she's from America. She will be working with us for 2 years. Shes 25 and has no children and no husband, she just wants to go to school and be alone for the rest of her life"....until...

2.) The time I didnt put sugar in my tea...

For some reason that is completely beyond me, Mozambicans drink boiling hot tea, in the middle of the day. The sun can be at its highest point in the sky, the temperature can be at 97 degrees, and I could have just gotten back from walking miles around this town in the hot blazing sun, dying for a cold glass of water, and they will bring out hot water and tea bags. And everyone will drink it.

Ok, fine. If you're thirsty, you're thirsty, so whatever.

One day, I was making my tea, and I put the tea bag in, and the water. The nurse handed me a bowl of sugar, which I refused. Someone else handed me milk. I refused. Anyone who knows me knows that I like my tea...just tea. No milk, no sugar. Just tea. the nurse kept trying to give me the sugar, until finally I said "I dont want sugar in my tea", and I took a sip without it.

You know that face you make when you're completely disgusted? Something like...this:

yeah....imagine 4 Mozambicans giving you that face all at once. Then I had to answer questions like "Do you do that at home?" "Why dont you like sugar?" "Are you afraid of getting diabetes?"

No, I'm not afraid of getting diabetes. but of course, everyone settled on that as the answer to why I didnt put sugar in my tea. Then it turned into a conversation about how white people don't like sugar...

Dont ask me how. There were no white people around. And I know plenty of white people who like sugar. But they stopped listening to the things I said. That is until...

3.) The time I told them I didnt drink tea in the morning...

I've gotten pretty used to drinking tea in the mornings. My host mom always served it to me, and I just bought some delicious spiced green tea. I like tea. I usually let it cool a bit, and drink it with some bread for breakfast. But one day, it was obnoxiously hot, and I was rushing in the morning, so I grabbed some bread and some water and headed out of the door. When I got to work, I was still eating some bread, and the nurse asked me "you didnt eat at home?" I told her no, I was rushing, and I just brought my breakfast with me. "So you didnt have any tea?" I told her no, I have water, i'm fine.

Oh my goodness....it was as if NOT drinking tea in the morning would cause my stomach to explode and planes to fall out of the sky and baby Jesus to cry, and the world to come to a fiery end...

EVERYBODY in the office FREAKED OUT. It was kind of scary...."Oh no! You didnt have tea this morning? Wont that mess up your stomach???" "You have to drink tea, you have to warm up your system!!" "Go make her some tea!" "in this weather, you have to have tea!"

I didnt want tea. And I really didnt understand their logic. But that didnt stop them. Before long, I had a cup of tea sitting in front of me, and 4 concerned Mozambicans staring at me, like if I didnt drink that tea, I would drop dead right then and there. So I drank it. And didnt put any sugar in it. And they asked again if I was afraid of getting diabetes. I said no. Then later that day I was asked why I wasnt married and didnt have any children...

then someone offered to set me up with some guy they knew...

this is the life that I live.
this is the life that I love.

Y'know...that really grinds my gears...

January 21, 2011

Living in Mozambique isn't all beaches and mangos and fun times. Some parts of living in Mozambique have been....downright annoying.

Of course, everything on this list is a normal part of everyday life...so I have no choice but to get over it. But anyway, here are 10 things that are currently grinding my gears...

1.)Chapas
- I've touched on the chapa experience in previous blog posts before, but last Friday's chapa trip was...well....it almost sent me over the edge...

I left my house at 11am and after a nice stroll through my neighborhood, arrived at the chapa stop at about 1120. I immediately saw a chapa turning towards the direction I was heading. They asked where I was headed. I told them Lichinga. I hopped on. I was kind of shocked, because the chapa wasn't full at all. This actually might be a comfortable ride...

Who was I kidding?

The chapa (like a mini-bus) is made for 15 people. I counted the seats. But we sure drove around...and waited....until it was packed with 22 people, 3 babies, and a chicken that I was afraid was going to start pecking at my feet. Did I mention that we didn't leave until 1255pm? Yeah...over an hour on the chapa, not going anywhere, because they didn't want to leave until it was "full"....all so they could make as much money as possible. It was hot. People were annoyed. Especially me.

Oh, and chapas aren't made for people over 5'7, so my knee was jammed into the seat frame in front of me, and during the entire ride, my legs were numb. And the woman to my right had nowhere to put her arm, so she put it around me...and was kind of caressing me the entire trip...and the woman to my left fell asleep on my cleavage. And the guy behind me decided to lean forward, and fell asleep with his head between my shoulder blades. And the baby in the back was hot and crying. And the road to Lichinga is only paved in random spots (and I don't think the shocks/struts on that chapa were any good) so the ride was bumpy and painful. And the chicken under the seat in front of me kept freaking out every 20 minutes...

Thank God it didn't peck my feet....


2.)People talking too low
- I'm quite aware that I am a loud, obnoxious, rude American. I can't help it, its in my nature. So maybe this is why I am annoyed, but people talk ENTIRELY TOO LOW. I don't get it. when addressing a room full of people, why aren't you projecting?? Its hard for me, because Portuguese is not my first language, so I need people to speak loudly and clearly so I can understand what they're saying....I find myself all the time wanting to yell "SPEAK UP!!". Ugh....people can yell things on the street to each other, but can't speak up at a meeting.

3.)The sun
- Yes, it is summertime in Mozambique. And its not that its hot...its that the sun is 7 inches from your face at 10am. In the shade, its usually nice. There's a breeze...its not too bad. But the sun here is oppressive and cruel. If it would just go away, life would be easier. And I wouldn't have this weird, awkward tan (and tan lines) that I now have to deal with...

4.)Mud
- mozambican summer=rainy season. The only time you find relief from the sun is when its raining. And when it rains, it gets REALLY muddy, REALLY quickly. Something about this mud...its different from regular mud. Its sticky and slippery at the same time. It sticks to your clothes and shoes and if you step on it the wrong way, you go sliding. And apparently I'm the only person who slips in the mud. I have yet to see anyone else slide...my shoes are always covered in mud....and then when I wash them, it rains again

Its a never ending cycle.

5.)Men
- most men are cool. But I'm just tired of refusing marriage offers and men staring at me drooling with their tongues hanging out.

6.)People on bikes
- I have never liked people on bikes. It was one of the most annoying things about Chicago and its the same here too...people on bikes think they get the same rights as drivers, and they don't. They want to ride on pathways where people walk, and demand the right of way. They whip around corners without warning and almost run you over, and then want to pretend its your fault...

7.)Crianzas
- or children. Kids. You know how I feel about them already. But in Mozambique, they are EVERYWHERE. They run in my yard and steal my mangos. They never say anything when I try to say hi to them. And the other day I found one playing in the corn my landlord had soaking outside. Why she decided to take a bath in the corn, I have no idea. Why he had corn soaking outside, I have no idea either...

8.)Greetings
-back to me being a rude American. If I greet a group of people with a "hello everybody", shouldn't that be sufficient? Why do I have to greet everyone individually? And why are the greetings so long and extensive?

9.)Unreliable phone networks
-my network was out for 2wks. I'm still not over that.

10.)Stereo systems
-the problem isn't the fact that the music starts blaring through the neighborhood at 6am and doesn't stop until 2am. I have earplugs for that. The problem is the fact that the SAME 5 songs are played over and over and over again. I know I can't be the only person annoyed by this. if I could find the exact house and give them a monthly mix cd...just so they would switch it up a bit....

Reasons

January 8,2011

One of the many reasons why I love Mozambique....

I spent a good part of my two week vacation taking out my braids. It was time...they were hanging on by a wish and a prayer. I washed, conditioned, twisted my hair and rocked a cute fro-hawk for NYE and New Years Day. (I got all cute both days with nowhere to go...) During this period of time everyone thought I was Brazilian...I guess Brazilians are the only people who wear curly fro hawks....anyway... On the 4th, the nurse from my org came by (she calls me her daughter. She said she missed me) and noticed I took out my braids. She asked if I wanted more. I told her yeah, it would be nice if I could find somebody to do them. She left and about 20mins later she came back with a girl. We went to the market, bought some hair...

And voila!! My hair is braided again. And it looks really good! And I only paid 100mts. Which is the equivalent of like...3dollars. And this girl is probably the fastest braider on earth...

Yep...I love it here. Its the simple joys :)

One of the reasons why being in Mozambique isn't always so great...

All kinds of people were texting me the past two weeks, but the mcel network was out, so my blackberry didn't have service. How the service could be out for TWO WEEKS is beyond me....ugh. So annoyed. Thankfully, I could still communicate because I have a vodacom phone, and that cell phone provider is actually more reliable here where I am. But anyway, today when my service came back, I got a text from my cousin (you know, from my host family in Namaacha) that he had sent on Wednesday. He was asking how I was doing, saying he missed me, asking when I was coming back, etc etc. I responded by saying that I didn't have cell phone service, so I couldn't respond on wed. Then I asked how he was doing. He responded with "I'm fine".

That was weird because he's usually way more talkative/expressive than that. I responded with "so where are you? How's the family in Namaacha?". And that's when he responded with "I'm in Namaacha. Vanya died.".

If you remember, I had 4 host sisters. Vanya was the 2nd youngest sister. She had a 9month old baby boy. I was shocked and immediately called him. He said she had been sick and she died this morning. Then he got another phone call and said he'd call me back.

The thing about Mozambique is that people die. A lot. Granted, people died everywhere. But in Mozambique, it happens way more often than in the States. Its one of the things that they prepare us for in training. People will die. On my home visits here in Niassa, I see people who are sick. Really sick. Everyday...and already, just this week, one of the people on our home care program, died. When you see these people everyday, emaciated and weak, with high fevers or low blood pressure....its a little easier to process the fact that things may not get better.... you hope they do get better. And that whatever antiretrovirals or other meds that they're on work to make them healthier. But that's not always the case. Sometimes people don't make it, and when you work with mostly HIV+ people in a country where there are so many complexities adding to the problem...you kinda prepare yourself for these things.

But when someone who was seemingly healthy passes away, its a little harder to accept. Then...when it's someone who isn't REALLY your family...but was a part of the only family you had for the first 10wks in a new country, who took you in and made you one of their own....well that also complicates things. And when you're way across the country, unable to see them...it adds to the frustration. And when language barriers and cultural differences get in the way of knowing what to say or what to do....well.....

You see where I'm going.

Everywhere in the world, life has its ups and downs.

New Years!

January 1st, 2011

Happy New Year!!

Since I couldn't leave my site for New Year's, I rang in the new year...well....asleep.

Yeah. I slept through it.

Everyone thought I had left the town for the weekend, so no one thought to invite me anywhere. I thought people had left for Lake Malawi, so I didn't think to call anyone to hang out with them. My landlord and I were supposed to go to church...but I fell asleep. Turns out, he fell asleep too...

Oh well.

This was the first NYE in a while that didn't involve the "usual NYE activities". Actually, I tried to stay awake...but I couldn't. I woke up at 12:06am because people outside were playing music, singing, and cheering loudly. I said a prayer, thanking God for allowing me to see another year, put in my earplugs, rolled over and went back to sleep.

Today, my landlord invited me for lunch at his father in law's house. We walked over, and entered the quintal to this gorgeous...estate. We walked in the main house, and I was immediately shocked....

Did I feel...AIR CONDITIONING?? I sure did!!!

I sat on the couch and noticed how large the house was, and how nicely furnished it was. It was almost...unnecessary....

The front room is a livingroom. It had a table in the middle, which looked like a dining table, but it wasn't where we dined....and there were two TVs. And both were on. Playing two different stations. And some people were watching one, and some were watching the other. Oh...and they had cable TV....

Then there's the next room, which was also a livingroom, with more couches and things....and two MORE TVs....those weren't on though...but why would someone need 4 TVs? Then there was the diningroom. Where we ate our lunch....and were waited on hand and foot by the domestic help...

Something I've noticed here in Mozambique is that they make use of domestic help WAY more than we do in the States. Maybe its because we have more appliances to make life easier, so we can just do it ourselves...I don't know. But my house in Namaacha had an empregada. Here, my house has Miguel, who is pretty much performing the empregado duties until they hire a new one. And in this house, there was a guy who was pouring my drinks the entire time, like the butler. There was a girl and a guy serving the food. And there was the cook-who got yelled at for burning the meat right in front of everybody....talk about awkward.

(I didn't think it was burned, I actually thought it was pretty good)

I felt like I was the only one saying "thank you" whenever "the help" poured my drink, or served me food. Once they served us, they stood there...and watched us eat....and as each person finished, they rushed to clear the plate and serve the next course. I pretended like I was comfortable
But I wasn't.

After lunch, we got up and returned to the seating area. No one really said anything to me. We just sat there. Thankfully, one of the TVs was on the station from Malawi, so it was all in English. Much to my amusement, it was like a Malawian version of BET, so I was watching music videos and concerts and things.

Anyway, after lunch, we just sat. I was bored out of my mind....and I had no clue WHY we were still there....no one talked to me, and the other people were speaking a local language. It was just me, watching TV, playing with my cell phone, and getting googly-eyed glances from the little boy (who I've since learned has a crush on me. He's like 6years old...) After a few hours of watching Malawian BET, the other people asked my landlord a question, he responded and I knew they were talking about me.

(I've become really good at figuring out when people are talking about me in local language)

Anyway, turns out that these people were from Malawi (duh! THAT'S why the TV was on the Malawi station!!). This whole time, I could have talked to them in English, but they don't speak much Portugese and thought I was Brazilian, and I don't speak much Portuguese and thought they were Mozambican.

So we finally started a conversation, and then I found out why we had been waiting that whole time.....it was time for dinner! We ate again, then we finally left.

Oh yeah...the food was FANTASTIC!

And that's how I spent my New Years. Yeah I know...nothing special.