June 6, 2011
So the other day, I was sitting at the office with the other women in my org, and we got into a very heated religious debate. The head of admin and I are about the same age. The nurse and our domestic help lady are older. The nurse tried to say that the "fruit" that Adam and Eve weren't allowed to eat was representative of sex, and once they had sex, God became angry with them, and that's what happened. She said she was taught by old Portuguese Catholic nuns, and that it was the truth. Violetta agreed with her. Angela and I contested that man and woman were put on the Earth to procreate, and to procreate, you have to have sex, so that interpretation couldn't have been true at all.
I could tell you how heated it got, but you wouldn't believe me. But it was intense.
Eventually, someone brought up the fact that I don't want to have kids, so how was I arguing that man and woman were made to procreate. And then everyone turned on me...and it was another one of THOSE conversations....
"You don't want to have a little baby that looks like you?". "You don't want to see what your child would look like?". "What kind of legacy do you want to leave on this earth?". "How will people remember you?". "Just have a baby and give it to me, I'll take care of it". "What if you get pregnant? You're not going to abort it, are you?". "You know, its a sin for a woman not to have a baby."
The usual arguments. I was fully prepared to defend my decision, no big deal. But then it took a turn for the worse....
The nurse said "this time next year, you're going to be pregnant. I know these things. You're GOING to get pregnant". She said it with such seriousness and impact...its as if she plans on chasing me down and impregnating me herself. Then she said "its gonna be twins". Then Angela, the younger one, said that she's going to pray every night that I get pregnant with triplets.
Now...I'm certain that God knows just as well as I do that I am the LAST person who needs to have a baby (or 3). So, in the interest of the child (ren), and my mental health, that will probably be one of the prayers that He doesn't answer. But still....I was actually OFFENDED. And hurt. I told them they were all really mean, and I left the conversation.
I mean...how could someone wish something so terrible on me?
Anyway, fast forward to last week. The nurse has a worried look on her face. "All that money I had....I just got paid, and my daughter needed money for school, and my granddaughter needed money, and I had to buy them food....I think you're right.."
"Right about what?". I said.
"Not having children. They're expensive. And now I don't have any money. You're right"
I laughed. I know I'm right. But she wasn't the only one to realize it...
Last Wednesday was "Dia da Criança" or "Children's Day". Its a day where Mozambican parents pretty much spoil their kids. And through spoiling the kids, adults reap ther benefits too (like if you're in a house that can never afford meat, but you saved up so your child could eat meat on dia da criança, this 6yr old isn't gonna eat this entire slab of ribs by herself, right?). Anyway, Angela, the younger one turns to me and says "you're right". I say "what" and she said "this day is expensive. You're right not to want children..."
I think they finally get it. And I think they might leave me alone now...well a little bit. I think they're getting used to it. Someone had a baby at the office, and they all said "oh! It looks like Kyla!". Then they laughed, and said "oh, she doesn't want kids"...and then that was that. No long debates. No evil wishes. Could it be?
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